Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
