you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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