Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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