this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
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He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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