The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
