i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
