Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize