fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
