I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
