My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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