I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
