After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
