I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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