Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
