My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My dick has a subreddit
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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