No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize