what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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