You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
