The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
