I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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