weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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