Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
