My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
