I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
