My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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