Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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