It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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