He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
