Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
