my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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