There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
