my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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