she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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