You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
