Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you inspire me to be a worse person
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
