New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
