You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
