Moan for me like Helen Keller
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize