When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
