why didn't you poke me back
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
