It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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