things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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