I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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