took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
