I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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