My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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