And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
