I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
