Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
