STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
