She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
