I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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