Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
