I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
