I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
