I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
third nipple confirmed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
