NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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