I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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