Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
