Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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