these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
