it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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