went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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