There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
