As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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