I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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