Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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