You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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