I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
