we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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